Jumping into the deep end without knowing where you will end up.
The leap - the change you want to make in your life and/or business is so exciting and scary because of the magnitude of the change. Knowing now what is and not knowing what will come in return.
Small changes in your life and career
Small changes are not scary. No one asks questions about making a small turnaround in your career or your life. You are constantly making those little leaps, from one job to a slightly different one, from one company to a slightly different one, from one person to a slightly different one. If you are not satisfied, you can convince yourself that they will solve the problem, but they are just shades of the same kind. Much safe, controlled and within your comfort zone.
If you step beyond the familiar boundaries of your comfort zone, you are stepping off the beaten path. Often the 'standard' you have been given from your upbringing, environment and studies. If you choose your own route, a new route, you begin a journey into the vast plain with new vistas of your untapped potential, unlimited possibilities and opportunities for growth.
Standing at the edge of your comfort zone, peering into the vastness of the unknown, it is normal to feel doubt and fear.
Photo from my adventure archive: Atop Table Mountain, looking out over Cape Town, the vast plains and the unknown of South Africa.
Embracing uncertainty and the unknown is not just a leap of faith, it is an adventure. An adventure that includes personal growth, self-discovery and freedom. Beyond the familiar, where you find your true self. And where you are free, unfettered by the expectations and standards of others, of society. But also from the limitations and limiting thoughts you have created yourself.
The anxiety and those Gremlins (impeding thoughts and negative voices that hold you back) increase over time: more pronounced at 45 than at 25. Why? Expectations and responsibilities increase over time - you get more bills, mortgages, partner and children - so the cost of a failed jump has increased and so has your fear. Also, by now you mostly have such an income that you have come to live by. And letting go of that....because what do you get in return?
How can you take a leap of faith?
By recognizing and appreciating the space - at your position where you can choose the life you are living. Instead of living a life where you are (distracted).
How I changed course and started living my life on my terms. I am often asked how I dared to take that leap of faith. To radically change course and start my own business after 20 years of working in International corporate business.
To answer that question for anyone who has asked the question or is thinking about maybe doing the same, here is my Framework Change for Live - For the leap of faith to pursue your dreams. However exciting, but how do you overcome your fear to take the leap?
Framework Change for Life
My Framework Change for Life. How can you prepare for a big change in your life and make that leap from confidence?
Step 1: Gathering information
The main reason the gap feels so wide is an information asymmetry. You know exactly what this side looks like, but very little about what the other side looks like.
You don't know what you don't know.
That lack of information manifests as fear, making the gap feel bigger and more intimidating than it really is.
But fortunately, lack of information is a problem you can solve.
By asking (and answering) good questions:
- What does the new path look like? Visualize it in detail.
- How reversible is a decision to take this new path?
Most people underestimate the reversibility of a major decision. You assume that if you leave your corporate/a company, you will never be able to get another job in that industry. This is usually clearly incorrect. Because most of these career decisions are reversible. After all, the value you built and created there that you have within you and no one will take that away from you.
- What case studies and examples exist about successful (or unsuccessful) execution? Who in your eyes have already made it happen and are now living the life with a successful career/own business that you also want to achieve?
- What perspectives can you learn from people with real, earned experience on the new path you also want to walk?
- Are there examples of people who have made a similar transition to what you are considering? What can you learn from them?
If you use a thoughtful process and structure to gather information, you will balance the information asymmetry and significantly reduce the gap.
Step 2: Create evidence
The second reason the gap feels so wide is an asymmetry of evidence. You have perfect evidence of your ability and now "control" to build a life on this side, but very little evidence of your ability and security to build a life on the other side.
And the lack of evidence manifests itself as fear.
While you are still on your current and familiar path now, you need to create tangible evidence that you can build a life on the other side.
What evidence can you generate of your ability to execute? For example, already attract a client for your new business, make money by selling a service/product on the Internet, start a pilot with some clients for your new coaching practice.
Small successes build momentum and balance the asymmetry in evidence.
If time is your concern, use the 30-by-30 approach I explained in a previous Empowered Letters. Set aside 30 minutes a day for 30 days to focus on creating evidence for your new path. This 900 minutes of focused effort will give you a great amount of work to start with.
Step 3: Address the fear
Information you have gathered. Evidence you have gathered. But the fear still exists.
See fear as a good thing: It means you care, it means this is something that matters.
- What is the downside of your action?
- What is the worst thing that can happen?
- How bad is it really?
- What is the positive side of your action?
- What is the best thing that can happen? What does it get you?
- How great is it?
- What can you regret?
- How much would you regret doing nothing at age 90?
- Could you live with those regrets?
Man suffers most from the suffering he fears
This does not mean that you will make a final decision to jump, but it does mean that you will be able to make that decision with a familiar(er) feeling and a clear, rational head.
Living a courageous life, free of regrets and "what ifs," is about taking a proactive approach to life. It is about creating your reality, rather than living the "norm," bound by societal expectations or the fear of stepping outside the norm. Every day is a new day to set your course, recalibrate and go for it all over again. In your own unique way.
My journey outside my comfort zone, of course, also went with peaks and valleys. But each step was a step toward a richer and freer life. Through my personal experiences, I learned that the only boundaries there are are those I had imposed on myself and allowed others to impose on me. Not only was I making myself small, I was also handing off leadership. Which left me not in that strong position in my life and missing the challenge in my work. I was not in the right place, where I wanted to be and could really do what I am good at and energized by.
Now I know it can be different, because outside the comfort zone is so much space and freedom. A space full of possibilities and opportunities for new challenges, for development and growth.
Dare to go beyond the known, the familiar. Embrace the uncertainty, the unknown and the endless possibilities before you. And focus on what could be. That which you want to achieve is attainable.
Remember that your life begins where your comfort zone ends.
And going on that adventure, outside your comfort zone, that's actually what I do with my clients. To see new opportunities and perspectives off the beaten path. What opportunities and routes you can take to grow personally and professionally. Because we all have our own "Dyke of Rightness" and to be able to see beyond that, you need different eyes, insights and leadership.
As a Strategic Business Partner, Mentor, Advisor, Coach, Consultant - with all my baggage in my backpack (with a wink 😉 ), I'm not only there to encourage you, but also to travel with you. As a navigator beside you, together with you, someone you can always approach and ask for directions. Working together so that each new step into the unknown is a step toward the life you have always dreamed of - a life rich in experiences, brimming with joy and without regrets. But also of achieving successes, winning again, developing and growing personally and professionally.
Growth requires change. Change feels uncomfortable and often produces anxiety.
But just because something isn't comfortable doesn't mean it has to hurt. The magic happens in this beautiful space between comfort and pain.
One thing is certain in our lives. Change is a constant. And it is up to you how you deal with it and what opportunities and opportunities for growth you will take advantage of.
One Life. Lead it. Live it.
Have a great week,
Gerdi
PS:
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